Square Peg Kids: Helping Children with Autism Navigate Life’s Round Holes

Fresh from a 21-year career in broadcasting, Mary Beth Marsden turned to what she knew best to help families like hers troubleshoot the challenges of autism: video.

Her new website, Real Look Autism, showcases videos of local families’ solutions to the problems they face as they raise children with autism spectrum disorders. Marsden launched the website in early April by turning the camera on her 9-year-old daughter Tess.

“I’m all about the video,” said Marsden, who thinks video will speak more powerfully to an Internet audience than text. “Tess is our first video. Hers is called Anxiety in School. We edit them in such a way that the parents and therapists actually tell the narrative. You tell us what’s working for you, and we’ll shoot it, edit it, and present it.”

With photojournalist John Anglim, whom Marsden met when they worked together at Baltimore’s ABC affiliate WMAR-TV Channel 2, she films families at school and at home, focusing on a specific problem and its solution.

“They’re all in this boat, which is all different boats,” said Marsden, trying to explain how autism’s challenges can be both common and individual. “Wouldn’t it be great if we could do some good, increase awareness, and show people how many types of autism there are. I want people to see what a wide variety of children there are on the spectrum.”

These videos are solution-based for problems like food allergies, table manners, compulsive behavior, and life and social skills.

“We all know there’s no cure, and there’s no real medication for it,” Marsden said. “All we have are therapies and strategies, and thinking outside the box sometimes, and molding these therapies to fit this specific child."

She continued, “I want people to be hopeful when they watch these videos, to root for these kids, and to want there to be a place in society for these kids. You can’t force a square peg in a round hole.”

Marsden’s website has attracted visitors from throughout North America, the UK and Australia.

“The best comments that we get, the ones I love to post, are the ones where people say, ‘You’ve given me an idea,’” Marsden said. “Those are the ones where I feel like, wow, we’ve helped somebody.”

The families on the website are open about their children’s diagnoses.

“Autism is my life. It isn’t going away,” said Adrienne Gleason, a Timonium resident whose 6-year-old son Kirby is the subject of a video. “It’s part of who he is. It affects every area of your life. I wake up every day with autism. This is my life. It’s no secret.”

Kirby has severe food allergies, and Kirby’s teachers have worked with him to stop and ask before he eats potentially fatal foods. The success they had with Kirby hesitating before grabbing a snack could save his life, and possibly now the lives of similar children whose parents and educators might view Marsden’s website.

“It’s been huge, because we couldn’t go anywhere without being right next to him the whole time, because he’d put something right in his mouth,” Gleason said. “Now he stops, and asks, or he hesitates before he puts something in his mouth. It really empowered him.”

Marsden and Anglim caught the success on video and posted Kirby’s sessions with an educator at his school as he learned how to control his impulse.

Gleason was appreciative that Marsden already knew the ins and outs, as a mom, of working with a child on the spectrum.

“She’s very professional,” Gleason said. “She’s very understanding of the little nuances we need to deal with. It was just nice. She knew the lighting can be an issue. The sound can be an issue. She knew all that.”

Baltimore resident Nancy Burrows’ 9-year-old son James is the subject of another video.

“I have been doing everything I can to get it to go viral,” Burrows said. “I love the idea that it could give somebody an idea. There’s such a need for ideas and sharing of strategies, and there’s not enough out there.”

Kay Holman of Phoenix has her video scheduled to shoot on July 9. The subject of her video will be a neighbor’s daughter, for whom Holman helps run a social skills group.

“I knew it was going to be such a powerful resource,” said Holman, who directs a master's degree program at Towson University in autism spectrum disorders. “Videos are so powerful. I just think having that visual makes a big difference when you’re trying to share information.”

Click here to watch the videos on Real Look Autism, or here to visit the YouTube channel.

Don’t be afraid to watch closely. As Marsden said, quoting another parent who is living with autism, “This is me, this is my life, this is my kid I love, and he has all these special needs, but you know what—he’s a member of this community, and I want you to see him.”