The Ice Cream Wars

There’s a going on in Catonsville. It’s an underground war of sorts, quietly being waged at picnic benches and in tree houses throughout our town.  

Some have declared conscientious objector status, unwilling to take one side or the other, fearful a show of favoritism might cause them irreparable gastric distress.

I speak, sotto voce, of the ice cream wars. Also known in some circles as Dessert Storm. No matter the alliance, all agree this is a very Cold War.

The factions I refer to occupy the area around the corner of Edmondson and Dutton Avenues. Opie’s anchors the east end while Tastee Zone
occupies the west side. Both produce exceptional soft serve ice cream, snowballs and other icy treats.

For more news and updates, follow Catonsville Patch on Facebook, Twitter or sign up for our daily newsletter.

But which ice cream is best?  In the category of Pointless Catonsville
Debates, this one’s a biggie. As an intrepid reporter, I had no choice. My gut told me to take the assignment.

And so, under cover of late afternoon, I covertly purchased large cups of vanilla and chocolate soft serve ice cream from each location. Cleverly, I transferred the ice creams to unmarked containers, cursing my lack
of willpower as I inhaled at least 25% of the tasty treat during the switch.

The next step was to identify participants for this blind taste test challenge. I needed people who were honest and somewhat objective. Kids, Supreme Court justices, and nuns immediately came to mind.

Based on the long-winded opinions of a few justices, I assume there is some lactose intolerance in the court. Thus, Alito was checked off the list right away. Ginsberg and Scalia, both rumored to be big time soft serve
fans, were regrettably unavailable.

That left the kids and the nuns.

Some of the sisters at All Saints Convent in Catonsville graciously agreed to participate in the challenge. As for the kids, I had to beat them off with a stick. I asked each participant to taste the ice cream, rating each sample on taste and texture.

I was surprised by the serious dedication the participants brought to the task. Some needed to taste small samples over and over and over in order to determine a score. Others took enormous bites of ice cream, partially obscuring their airways in their quest to correctly identify subtle differences in the samples provided. A few found it necessary to smear the ice cream over parts of their face in order to correctly ascertain the texture of the product.

In the end, it was a close call. Out of 15 taste testers, Tastee Zone edged out the competition for taste, while Opie’s was found to have exceptional texture. Tastee Zone vanilla was voted overall favorite.

Of course, this blind challenge does not offer conclusive evidence. Years of data still needs to be collected. By the time my task is fully accomplished I may not fit in my pregnancy clothes anymore. Which is fairly depressing, considering my last pregnancy was eleven years ago.

Jodi Corbitt, Catonsville resident and owner of Opie’s, is happy to have Tastee Zone as a neighbor.  “I think having another ice cream stand only helps our business by promoting healthy competition. Small businesses are what this country is based on and I applaud any small business owner who is trying to make a go of it in today’s economy.”

Justin Wheeler, manager of Tastee Zone, agrees. “There’s plenty of business in Catonsville, and we’re pleased that there are enough customers to go around. We are happy to provide a product that so many enjoy.”

It all boils down to individual preference. After all, one man’s chocolate dipped is another man’s sprinkle coated.  Either way, no one loses. With so many ice cream and snowball choices in our town (don’t forget You Scream Ice Cream on Frederick Road!) this is one war that will, hopefully, be waged for many years to come.